


Bargain Bins

by PatPrecieux



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Time, M/M, Post Valentine's Day, early in the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 19:45:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9782936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/pseuds/PatPrecieux
Summary: James goes to the Bargain Bins on February 15th.





	

**Author's Note:**

> One man's trash is another man's treasure.

If James' God demanded suffering, yesterday had surely filled his quota. Jesus Christ on a crutch how he despised February 14th.

 

Valentine's Day was torture unequaled even in the Inquisition. Hathaway had spent his entire shift at CID trying to avoid everyone. His hope was for a multiple murder, which only added Catholic guilt to his agony. Cupid however, seemed to have all of Oxford enchanted.

 

No murders, no assaults, no robberies, no crime period, and a station mandated luncheon didn't even allow him an hour away from the nick. It had been, James reflected, the only time in his police career that he had been grateful for paperwork.

 

The lanky Sergeant had used his runners legs to dash through an obstacle course of streamers, balloons, flowers and startled co-workers at the end of day, then, panting like a greyhound, he sprinted to the carpark. 

 

The lone saving grace was not having to be around Inspector Lewis. His Governor had taken a few days to go North to Manchester to visit his daughter Lynn. Even after several years, Lewis still struggled with the loss of his wife Val to a senseless hit and run in London at Christmas.

 

It's said misery loves company, but the two of them together on the 14th would have simply been overkill. Thursday the 16th both men would be back to work, order restored, Cupid be damned!

 

~~~***~~~

 

The blaring horn of an overloaded lorry jerked Hathaway from reverie back to reality. After yesterday he had requested a personal day feigning illness, despite having to endure the expected dirty remarks about too much booze and buxom "birds" making February 15th one of the more "popular" sick days.

 

For once, he didn't have a hangover, but he had one hell of an existential crisis migraine. Lying only made it worse, so of course, good little James slunk off to confession. He would be absolved of his sin and hopefully sleep the day away. God laughed.

 

The priest had blessed and forgiven him, but there were to be no Hail Mary's or Our Father's in his penance. Instead he had been sent around to a list of shops willing to empty their Bargain Bins as donations to the church food pantry, child care center and upcoming Jumble Sale.

 

Turning up Woodstock Road, James sighed as he maneuvered the borrowed van to the back entrance of St.Aloysius Gonzaga Church. He would have help unloading but it was small comfort.

 

There was the usual bounty of can goods, non-perishables, personal care items and clothing of questionable fashion. There was also, a veritable avalanche of unwanted Valentine's Day "gifts." James had prepared to carry it to a skip when the priest admonished him.

 

The poor didn't care that the candy was day old. Toddlers were unconcerned that the bright balloons were for a holiday now past. An ugly stuffed animal ill suited for romance, would be well loved by a frightened child or a lonely elderly soul seeking a hug.

 

Now, James wasn't just depressed and guilty, he was ashamed.  
Reclaiming his own car, he drove slowly back to his flat the pain behind his eyes burning like hot coals.

 

Going inside, he dragged the large plastic bag the priest had insisted he take along with him. A tag on the closure read, "never forget." Desperately wanting wine, his head forced him to the kettle. Later, sipping his tea, James opened the bag.

 

Inside was a red balloon with white lettering, "U R Loved." A box of chocolates with a ribbon reading, "For All You Do." Lastly, there was a perfectly hideous purple and red stuffed "monster" James recognized as a version of the cartoon Tasmanian Devil. When he inadvertently squeezed it, he was startled when the "beast" growled, "Take me to bed and we'll raise some hell lover."

 

Hathaway dropped the plush toy as if it were possessed by a demon, then laughed himself into a coughing fit. God, he just wanted to get back to whatever the fuck passed for normal in his life. Was that too much to ask? Apparently, it was.

 

~~~***~~~

 

In the space between pain and sleep, James thought the pounding was in his head until he heard his name. Shit, it was Lewis. He staggered to the door squinting against the sunset burning his retinas to cinders.

 

"James man, stopped by the station and they told me you were off roto sick. Ye all right lad?"

 

As the soothing Geordie brogue flowed over him like a warm blanket, James wanted to cry. "Not to worry Sir. Migraine is all. The stress of being without your expertise these last days expect."

 

"From what I've heard, more than likely you're sick with boredom. I leave Oxford and all the crime disappears? They'll be nattering for me transfer to Norwich or the like."

 

James started, "No! These last few days have been bad enough!" The younger man went pale as a ghost, "Sir, I didn't mean to say that, apologies."

 

Lewis regarded him through an investigator's eyes. "James what happened while I was gone?"

 

"Happened Sir? Nothing at all, as you said, dead quiet."

 

"Playing the fool doesn't suit you Sergeant. Clearly something has put you in a right state. Judging from the flat, a new romance?"

 

"Not that it's any of your business Sir, but these gifts are from my priest! Satisfied?"

 

Robbie's eyes widened, "There's a phrase you don't hear every day lad. Should I be jealous?"

 

"Jealous? Why the fuck would you be jealous?!"

 

The older man's expression softened as did his voice. "Don't be churlish James, it's beneath that beautiful brain and mouth of yours. As for being jealous, why wouldn't I be. I've been the luckiest old sod on the force to have ye all to meself. Going to go spare over anyone trying to take you from me, aren't I. Even a priest trying to pull you back to the Church."

 

"He wasn't, that's isn't what this is about, Sir."

 

"Then tell me what it IS about."

 

The misery of his last hours poured out of James in a flood. "Worst of all Robbie, I sent myself some damned roses trying to fend off the gossip and prying questions. I put a card with the flowers signed Sam, so...so..."

 

"So no one could tell if it was Samuel or Samantha? Clever clogs you are, Sergeant. Only you could have signed it Harry or Bertie."

 

James nodded, "Noted for next time, Sir; Harriet or Harold, Roberta or..." The tall blond blushed scarlet, "Robert?"

 

"There's the genius. Knew you'd get there eventually, pet. I was happy to see our Lynn but mostly I went cause of you."

 

"Me? Did I do something wrong?"

 

"Only the sin of prevarication. Took a call last Friday from a posh florist on the front desk asking when Sergeant Hathaway would be available for a delivery on Valentine's Day."

 

"You thought I had a new, ah, friend."

 

"Couldn't bring meself to watch someone woo you James. Me heart's been broken too many times. Wanted to give you some space to enjoy yourself. Stead, seems I put us both in the shit."

 

"Up to my chin Sir, which I fear is over your handsome head Bertie. Can I call you Bertie? I'll take that as a resounding no. For future interrogations Sir, that face you just made is terrifying."

 

Lewis sat down on the sofa next to James, "Want to see really terrifying lad? Try and stop me snogging you breathless right now."

 

James was sure if he died with Robbie's tongue in his mouth it would be worth eternal damnation. With any luck, he could even cancel his next dental cleaning. Lewis was more thourough than brushing and flossing.

 

At some point, one hand inside his Sergeant's shirt, the other at his trouser fly, Lewis pushed James flat on his back. "Take me to bed and we'll raise some hell lover."

 

Robbie jumped a foot. "What the bloody..."

 

James snorted, " Another gift from today. I doubt the good Father was aware of the message he sent."

 

"Maybe, maybe not canny lad. You're the one always telling me your God works in mysterious ways."

 

"The mind boggles Sir. What now?"

 

"Doubter me, but just in case, don't think we should ignore a message from God, do you?"

 

"Absolutely not, Bertie."

 

"You are paying for that in so many ways for decades to come."

 

"Eager to please Bertie."

 

~~~***~~~

 

"Have ta say luv, Val and me used to get up to a bit but never had a threesome with a plush monster before."

 

"Your face when he started growling when you were in the middle of..."

 

"Finish that sentence at your peril, lad. If I was you, I'd be saying a little prayer that our new companion is washable. He seems a rather dirty boy."

 

"Lube, melted chocolate and semen will do that. There's another threesome to remember."

 

"You have a poet's soul and a copper's mouth. I am a man twice blessed, and so you don't mistake me meaning, I love you James."

 

"I will never think of Valentine's Day the same way again, or the day after. Romance's rejects led us to love."

 

"And a priest."

 

"Indeed, Sir. Bless me Father as I continue to 'sin'. I know that look. What are you thinking Inspector Lewis?"

 

"Just wonderin' if the local sex shops are still open."

 

"I think most stay open past last call. Why Bertie?"

 

"Cause I'd like us to go have a rummage through their Bargain Bins."

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder that ANY day can be a day for love.
> 
> A fact: Day old valentine candy is sweeter and has less calories. ;)


End file.
